Words Matters
Recently I picked up a book that my sister gave me, titled “Back In Control” by Gregory Bodenhamer. This is a great book written by a father and juvenile probation officer.
In 1994, my sister and brother in law invited me to join them at a workshop put on by Bodenhamer. At that time, my oldest son was about 10 and her son was 9 months older. The two of them were very good friends and cohorts 🙂.
One of the biggest take-aways from the book and workshop is the language of Nevertheless and Regardless! I have used these words with my children, students and even grandchildren.
These words are argument deflectors!
Regardless = Be that as it may. Nonetheless = That is not the issue.
Children want to defend/argue for theirSELF. This is normal and to be expected. It is part of learning how to be in the world. We as parents do not need to argue with our children. These two words help us as parents stay calm during times when our children want to argue…
“I don’t want to be home at 9.”
“Regardless, the time for you to be in the house is 9.”
“You are ruining my life!”
“Nevertheless, I love you and I’ll see you tonight at 9.”
Bodenhamer says, “Starting today, keep thinking “regardless” and “nevertheless”. The more you practice and use them, the fewer arguments you will have.”
