A Science of Touching
Throughout my life, I have personally recognized the importance of touch. When I was very young my dad would put us to bed and gently rub our faces. Sometimes he would tell us a quiet story and I loved hearing his deep voice. This soothing, relaxing touch was an avenue to help us go to sleep. I later did the same for my children and they would often request, “Please rub my arm”.
When my twins were born prematurely, I was told by the staff at the hospital and others to touch them, spend as much skin to skin time as possible and allow them to touch each other and their siblings touch them, we were to keep my hands on them as much as possible.
When we have raised animals, I always recognized the positive effect of relationship through touch. Our most recent addition to our family, Tillie the dog, receives a constant hand on her whenever she is near me to build the bond we now share.
Touch, skin to skin is something we feel emotionally and physically.
I recently shared with my girls the importance of touch…especially with our husbands and children.
Touch is not only important to emotional communication but also, it is intimately involved in the expression of positive emotions between people. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/touching_research/
Everyday forms of touch can bring us emotional balance and better health. Click on the link to watch a video regarding research being done over a decade ago regarding the profound findings regarding touch.
And then there are times when we don’t want to be touched nor do we want to touch. This is usually when touch becomes an emotional reaction. We emotionally do not want to feel love from another (because we feel it is not genuine) due to a disagreement, misunderstanding and feeling hurt, etc.
There are times when we do not want to show the love and affection we have for our spouses or children for the same reasons. We cannot be genuine because of our feelings of hurt or anger, frustration, or sadness, etc.
Though this is hard to do, these are the times we probably need to actually touch them and allow ourSELF to be touched. We need to remember that we do love them and care for them and that we are loved by them.
Think of it as a therapeutic touch when you don’t “feel” like it. The outcome may change the way you feel in a much more positive way.
Therapeutic touch is the deliberate use of physical contact to support health and wellbeing — is not a wellness trend. It is a biological mechanism, deeply embedded in the architecture of the human brain. When skin meets skin, a cascade of neurological events unfolds: stress hormones drop, reward circuits activate, and the nervous system shifts from threat to safety. https://www.thebrf.org/how-physical-contact-affects-the-brain-stress-and-emotional-recovery/
Therapeutic touch with a hand in hand, or a hug may feel too intimate when we are not “feeling” it. A simple brush against them as we walk by, a hand on a shoulder, a touch with a finger on their arm. Some way to show and feel connection.
Everyday! Reach out and touch them. My husband and I hold hands often, always when we are driving. We literally lean on each other when we walk or sit next to each other. We always touch each other's hand as we say goodnight. The connection is real, it certainly keeps a connection between us.