Kids struggle.
From infancy through their adult life, our kids struggle, as do we. It is important at times to sit quietly and evaluate the struggles of our children. For some it is not sleeping well and they become tired. For some it is not having good friends; not knowing the material being taught to them in school; not feeling well; getting behind and frustrated; not being good at something they want to be good at. As they get older, they may struggle with a job, money, relationships, their own children...
I have watched my children struggle with health, time management, athletics, coaches, academics, teachers, friends, me :), and many other life experiences. Decisions and experience create struggles. I have watched my children make difficult decisions and feel afraid of making a mistake. I have watched them experience life. There are no crystal balls.
There is always time for prayer and quiet, thoughtful consideration when making decisions; there is always time for active engagement. My grandfather taught me years ago, to write it down. To take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle and make a pros and cons list of the why or why not. I have encouraged my children to listen to their great-grandfather. Clarity is difficult and standing on the edge of a decision is a struggle.
Once I watched my youngest daughter struggle with a load of academics, band, and athletics which were her decisions and choices. She wanted to be a part of all the things she loved. She struggled with lack of sleep to accomplish her desires and goals. She struggled with being successful with all she was involved in. It was a difficult time for her – which made it difficult for her family, as we are all a part of what we do. We are Partners in Time. She succeeded. She traveled the path. As a parent, I was mostly quiet, only giving small tidbits of suggestions and guidance, and being there to listen. Mostly provide a quiet place for her to lay her head at the end of her daily struggle. Reminding her “this too shall pass”!
Acknowledge the struggles of your children. Just the recognition they struggle makes it easier on us as parents to be there for them and stand with them rather than to be yet another struggle for them.
Show empathy for their struggles. When being tired is the struggle, see if you can narrow down the cause…bad dreams can cause a child to lose sleep, a noise may wake them up and they cannot go back into a restful sleep. Lack of sleep will affect them throughout their day.
Bring them into their solutions. Ask them questions and listen. Ask what they think, what they can do to help alleviate what they are struggling with. You will be amazed at how, when given the opportunity, they can come up with solutions to their own struggles. Be empowering, inspiring, uplifting, encouraging and their guide. Be patient.