Life is full of conflict.

We disagree with and about many things. We have arguments. Sometimes we think of conflict as only negative. BUT learning how to have conflict and work through them with those we love, care about and spend TIME with helps us get through life with more positivity. 

We need skills to navigate conflict. We need to teach our children how to navigate their own.

According to Love and Logic teachings, “Conflicts are a part of life. People who understand this, and who know how to maintain relationships in the face of friction, usually enjoy a lifetime of happiness. Those who lack these skills often struggle through a life filled with broken relationships.” Dr. Charles Faye

Our children learn best by watching. They watch us and learn from us. The need to see how we handle conflict in our own life. 

Children feel tension and unresolved conflict in our homes. They are sensitive little creatures. We do not need to hide the conflicts in our homes. They need to see conflict resolution and how we feel. They need to witness our values and beliefs in front of them. 

Children who grow up in a home where this constant yelling and arguing is never helpful to their own development. The benefit from acknowledgement of conflict and then the positive resolve of the conflict.

All conflicts should not be addressed in front of our children. It is our responsibility as parents to discuss private and personal issues away from our children. 

Learning the skills is worth the TIME and effort.

• Let’s start with communication. Having open communication where you can express how you feel is critical. Stick to the facts, be genuinely willing to share and listen. Focus on the one issue rather than combining multiple grievances. 

• Actively listen to what each other has to say. Avoid interrupting and repeat back what was heard. Use sentences like -  “Sounds like you feel…” “Looks like you want…”. 

• Begin problem solving. Look for solutions to resolve the conflict and benefit all included in the issue. Seek a win-win solution. It’s okay to take TIME to think. Thinking can take TIME and care to come up with possible solutions and you can schedule a TIME to come back together and begin the process again.